Unipolar disorder

Submitted: May 21, 2014
By: 
Badlands Journal editorial board

 There is a rumor going around professional psychological circles that at last the staid Fifth Edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V), in recent refinements will include what has since the millennium become a psychological epidemic among certain elites in the United States--unipolar disorder. Not to be confused with its sound alike, biopolar disorder, sufferers of unipolar disorder appear to bask passively in the light of the
truths" they imagine they have received. It is a novel and menacing addition to the nation's psychopathologies.

Unipolar disorder seems to be a cross between extreme narcissism and bloviated cartoon-like patriotism. This is harmless when confined to the dittohead set in county-seat barbershops. However, when mixed with any sort of elite credential, a hedge fund, the American cult of leadership, and especially with political and military power, the patient's inner chaos can project out into the world, creating economic depression and what some foreign correspondents are now calling "the Empire of Chaos."

 

This pathology regularly reduces Ivy League graduates – regardless of their personal wealth -- to the mentality of recently reborn, bankrupt cotton merchant.

 

Although the etiology is not yet clear,  early signs of the social pathology of unipolar disorder include loss of all guilt and shame. Later, patients suffer from the belief that history has ended with their nation the only victor, although only they, their relatives, in-laws and other members of their income class can be truly called "the free and the brave," and the rest of the nation is full of people who need to be kept under constant surveillance.

 

As the pathology progresses, the patient begins to delight in shedding the blood of other peoples' children and fraudulently stealing other peoples' treasure. At the highest levels of unipolar disorder, patients believe that anyone who does not share their particular passions and fantasies is an enemy of America.

 

So far, there is too little science on therapies for responsible consensus in the psychological community but horse whipping, although rarely applied, has been found to be effective in some cases. -- blj

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